How things get DONE!

So the past two weeks I have been meeting with various organizations to solicit help and support for my project such as the Hashemite Fund for Human Development, the Partners Center, the Hashemite Fund for Badia Development, and the Jordanian Business Development Center. Meeting with those organizations in Amman and Zarqa as well as meeting with the various individuals out here in the Badia over the last few weeks/months has helped me learn some pretty key characteristics to how business is done here in Jordan. There is such a different type of etiquette and proper method to doing things that I can easily see how a misunderstanding could take place operating here as a foreigner. So here is a brief summary of what I have learned so far:

Wasta... it's not what you know it's who you know. Relationships are important wherever you go in the world, but here relationships aren't just important they are essential. Here it is impossible to get a decent job without knowing a friend or family member on the inside who is willing to go to bat for you and set things up. But wasta goes further than that. For instance we were out clothes shopping and despite the dozens of shops all selling the same things in Mafraq, we made sure to go to a certain shop as the owners were the friends of relatives and were sure to give us a good price. Haggling is expected in doing business and it can seem like the two people arguing over prices are about to come across the counter at each other but apparently this is just a way of doing business and getting the best price. There is a pretty significant difference between the "friendly price" and the "normal price" so I'm glad I have friends here to shop with as if I was just a foreigner I'd get ripped! Getting sick and needing to get some meds from the pharmacy is a similar sort of situation. I can speak from personal experience, as well as relate stories from various American friends that have gotten sick and didn't need the appropriate prescriptions as they had a good relationship with the locals running the pharmacy. Really out here in all aspects of doing something it's not about what you know or how good your ideas are, it's about who you know and who can pull the appropriate strings for you.

Where's the Coffee?!? When you come to sit with a good Bedu host after welcoming you warmly he will start making demands to know where the coffee is from his sons or other people around him. Serving the traditional unsweetened coffee (kahua saada or Arabic coffee as it's sometimes called) in a little one or two ounce porcelain cup is the proper way of welcoming you and so the host sometimes makes a big deal about demanding the coffee be brought quickly to show you how welcome you are. This is a different coffee than the more typical or "Turkish" coffee served in the cities as the beans are ever so lightly roasted and so it almost has a tea like color to it. The coffee has much importance in social interactions and has different significance in different situations. The most important man is always served coffee first and the respectful partaker of the coffee must drink more than one but never more than three small cups of coffee. When being served the coffee you have to remain seated but not slouching or laying about (as people often do when relaxing on the floor cushions) but attentive and respecting the server. You return the cup and it will be refilled and given back to you unless you jiggle the cup slightly by rotating your wrist while returning it indicating that you've had enough. After the first one or two most important men in the party have been served then it usually just goes in a counterclockwise manner from the right side of the room to the left. Similar practices should be taken when greeting everyone in the room. If entering a small room greet the most important man first and then the other two or three around you usually from the man to the right of the door and around. In a large room the door will usually face a U shaped arrangement of pads and cushions on the floor or benches or in some cases couches. Start greeting people at the right end of the U and move your way around it working counterclockwise. You'll then be directed to sit (usually the place of honor is at the head of the room or the bottom of the U shape) so if told to sit at the head of the room graciously accept and know you're a guest of honor. If in a small room or office you're directed to sit on the right hand of the person sitting a the desk or head of the office then you are the most important person in the meeting and the guest of honor. A little tip for people who don't speak fluent Arabic, when greeting everyone, people love to throw curve balls at you and instead of asking the standard "how are you" or "how's your health" they will throw some Bedouin dialect at you or asking a strange question in a greeting or something like that. Most times you won't know what they are saying but you can get away with just about anything by saying hala hala hala over and over again while going through the line shaking peoples hands. Hala means basically the same to you or right back at you. Also most men will refrain from kissing you as you're American and they accept that you are not comfortable with that... except for the older men. The older men are of the mindset that your culture doesn't matter because you're in their home so they will shake your hand and pull you in for a kiss on the cheek. Usually kiss once on their right cheek then switch to the other cheek for two or three quick kisses on the left cheek. Don't be surprised if you pull away to have them pull you back for another kiss on the cheek but since there is no standard number of kisses on the left cheek that is acceptable or standard the best bet is to go off of the handshake, feel if they are pulling you back in for another kiss or if they are pushing you off and go with it. Again... this isn't anything but cultural so don't get the wrong idea here folks. If you are meeting a woman (this doesn't happen often but when it does it's important to note the proper procedure) it's odd to stand when they enter the room like you do when men enter (completely opposite from being a southern gentleman so that has been interesting to adjust to). Instead of shaking hands when greeting you simply put your right hand over your heart which means the same thing. This type of greeting can also be used for a man if it's just too awkward to make your way over a table or something to shake his hand. If a woman offers you her hand you may shake it but let her make that determination. If you are a woman don't offer your hand to anyone in a Shmagh as odds are they are pretty traditional and will feel quite uncomfortable shaking your hand. When sitting down after greeting and the coffee is being served it's completely expected to ask the same "how are you" question in different forms always expecting the same answer. Ask about life, work, health, but NEVER ask about wives, daughters, or sisters. Don't ask about them, don't ask to see pictures of them, if you do happen to meet them don't take pictures of them, if you do take pictures of them (sometimes being a foreigner it is allowed) don't show them to ANYONE else as that's incredibly shameful. Don't talk about your own sisters, daughters, or wives, don't show pictures of them... just don't. The only real exception to any of that is with your mother. It's not commonplace but it's a bit more socially acceptable to talk about your mother and how she's doing and showing someone a picture of your mother or introducing her in public etc. This is especially true if she's sick or widowed so inquiring after someone's sick or widowed mother is fine. When sitting you will be served coffee, tea, fruit, and all sorts of stuff over the course of the conversation so just gracefully accept and smile (even if for instance you're Mormon and you don't drink coffee or tea just don't make a big deal of it and smile). You're not always expected to drink what's in front of you but if you are sitting without a drink in front of you or an empty glass it is very shameful for the host as it is his responsibility to keep your glass full and keep you comfortable. If you know the host better you can explain to them that you may not be able to drink tea or coffee etc citing either health reasons or religious reasons but never ever use "I don't like it" as a reason as you'll just sound like a jerk. If you sit around long enough food will always be served and when food is served all conversation stops. Everyone gets up and sits around a large circular pad with many different plates of various types of food on it. Eat from any plate you want but only eat from your side of the plates. There is usually one large main dish and so section off your part of the platter being about 6-8 inches of the edge of the platter and just eat from that section. The host will usually throw pieces of meat and scoop more rice and food into your section as that's his job but it's very shameful to dig in to the middle or eat from other people's sections. This is true even if there is no one else there as people often join you mid meal and take up another "section" to your right or left. Sit however you want during the rest of the visit but while eating you can only sit cross legged or do a half kneel with your right foot on the floor (right knee up)... this is usually most comfortable for us unflexible westerners so just a little tip there. Of course you only eat with your right hand but you can use your left hand for tearing bread etc. When eating rice and stuff with your hand just scoop it up and squeeze it and roll it to make a little ball that is manageable before using your thumb to pop it in your mouth. Don't lick your fingers as that's pretty rude, but a tip to make it a little more manageable is spoon some yogurt into the rice to make it stick together a bit better. After eating everyone goes and washes their hands and face and a glass of water is served from person to person after everyone has sat back down. Drink some water and return the glass rather than holding on to it (yeah my first mistake on my first day). Now one of the big differences between the city and out in the Badia is serving coffee. In the city when you first arrive a coffee will be served to welcome you then after talking for a while another coffee may be served and is meant as a signal for you to be on your way as the host needs to get on to other things. In Bedu culture this is not the case and coffee is served immediately and often and only indicates that the host is doing his job to accommodate you. I have been told that a cheap host will ask you if you are hungry or thirsty while a gracious host will just serve you food and expect that you will partake. This is important if you are hosting as although it is customary to ask if you can get anyone anything in western culture, don't ask just serve. Sometimes very little actual business will be discussed but more on this later. One little interesting tidbit of information, if you are planning on making a substantial request from your host such as asking to marry his daughter or sister or something of that nature the process is a little different. You show up with an entourage of as many important people as you can round up, and they all defer to you in serving the initial cup of coffee. The host will of course try to serve the older and more important men first but because they defer to you that shows the host that you are very important and should be respected. After you are served your coffee instead of drinking it you set it down and then address the host and make your request. The host will answer your request (sometimes taking a leave to go discuss matters with his wife/mother/daughter etc in the other room if it is a marital request) and if the answer is positive you will drink the coffee, if negative you will leave the coffee where it is untouched and leave. Here in the Badia the coffee is much more a symbol than it is a tasty pick-me-up, so treat it as such. Be honored when your host makes a scene demanding "where's the coffee" as it means you are an important guest and he is eager to show you that with this symbol of welcome.

There is no such thing as late and there are no "power lunches" "power breakfasts" or really power anythings... so slow your roll! When you show up to a meeting whether it be in the city or out in the Badia don't show up with an agenda. Stacking meetings back to back on every hour on the hour is acceptable in western culture but doing that here means you will miss more than half your meetings. I don't think I've been on time for a meeting yet but I certainly haven't been late yet. If you plan on meeting with someone at 10am then plan on them showing up at around 11 to 11:30. If you have an hour's worth of business to talk about then plan on it taking all day. Time is flexible here and although it seems sometimes like that is a bad thing that will cause all sorts of problems with productivity I am starting to see some of the advantages it has. As I have said before nothing gets done here without relationships so sitting and taking the time to develop those relationships is essential. When you show up at a meeting expect for there to be some significant time spent just talking about whatever comes up before getting down to business. Even in the city before getting down to business coffee or tea must be served, time must be taken to relax and settle in and get comfortable, and a certain degree of respect for the visiting party must be shown as they have most likely traveled far to come meet with you. For example this last week I had a list of organizations to meet with and many things to do in Amman as I make it there so rarely I wanted to make good use of my time. I was under the impression that I had meetings set up beforehand with these groups when it turns out I didn't and was showing up unannounced (I was a bit annoyed upon learning this). This is a pretty bad idea in the states and will usually get you nowhere but here I ended up meeting with some important decision makers at a few of the organizations we got a chance to visit and even though I ran way over on time (going from a 30 minute meeting to 2 hours plus) I developed the relationships necessary to really get some traction with a few of my ideas. I only met with two groups that day rather than the 4-5 I had planned on but those two groups will be more involved and helpful than any number of idle relationships developed in the 30 minute meetings I'm used to. Over the course of the day I also got a chance to stop in and say hello to some friends in Zarqa and of course had to stay and eat some maglouba which I'm always a fan of. So making a schedule is tough as meetings are rarely scheduled and getting down to business quickly and efficiently is not the norm. This idea all stems out of a cultural rule that dictated hospitality when someone was traveling to come see you as in the nomadic life that journey could be significant. Up until rather recently the Bedu were nomadic as it has only been in the last 20-50 years that these people have transitioned from their nomadic existence to settling in villages and cities. In the past when someone came to meet with you it is your obligation to talk with them and feed them and host them for three and a quarter days before ever asking what it is they wanted. They could offer up what it is they need from you before then but it would be considered outright rude and unacceptable to ask why they came to see you before those three and a quarter days had passed. Now when someone comes to see you it is not quite three days before getting down to business but it certainly could be three hours at times. Given this context perhaps the responsibilities of a host and the importance of relationships begin to make more sense. If you get to a meeting, don't jump right into business and "getting things done" as you'll only close a door and end up wasting the hour you scheduled to meet.

These rules aren't hard and fast and have some degree of variation. The problem with establishing guidelines for interacting here is that the culture will vary so significantly from region to region. Everything from food, to etiquette, to language changes from one area to another here. I know words that I have learned here in the Northeastern Badia that someone from Amman or Irbid or the Southwestern Badia would never understand or use. Being isolated from other tribes and groups for so long as resources were scare and disease easily spread amongst flocks caused these significant variations to develop and grow. There is no hard and fast rule but these general guidelines seem to be widespread enough to apply anywhere here.

So remember that wasta is important, take time to develop it by eating and drinking and allowing your host to be welcoming. Take time to get to know people and learn what it is they really want and need from you. Don't let your schedule get in the way of your purpose. Perhaps these are rules that can be adapted and used anywhere?

Life is still fantastic here in the Badia and my best to all my friends and family all around the world.

Loren of Arabia
لورن من العربية

Forgive the lack of posting... between being ridiculously sick for about a week and a half and then being swamped catching up with work it's been an interesting few weeks.

First of all, working with 5 year old's every morning does take its toll every so often. In this particular instance, the toll was created by the speed at which virulent disease spreads and although it may have a minimal impact on the kid, it will wipe out an adult who has much less time on their hands to sleep and get pampered by mom. Way to go kids you totally wiped me out!

The kids are great though and are a joy to teach. They have all warmed up to me now and so the highlight of my day is going and spending a couple hours at the pre-school and laughing and joking around practicing English with the kids. I think one of my favorite students is this small quiet boy who doesn't interact with many of the other kids. The other teachers relegated him as someone who could have some developmental problems as he hardly talked at all. He sat in my lessons where I was teaching simple words and phrases in English and I noticed he'd grin when I made small comments or jokes to myself (I hate to admit I do this but making funny comments I'm certain no one around me will understand is one of my simple pleasures here). I noticed this boy smiling and started to talk to him to see if he understood me but of course he ignored it. I continued to make jokes that a 5 year old boy couldn't resist laughing at and he finally started cracking up. As it turns out the reason he's so quiet is because he hasn't had much exposure to Arabic over the last few years. He has lived in Pakistan with his parents for the last few years and speaks fluent English and Urdu. After I finally got him to open up we sat outside eating some snacks and he told me about how he was living with his grandmother now and how he missed his parents in Pakistan. It was kind of heart wrenching to hear him talk about different experiences he's had in his life and how now he didn't know if he'll ever see his father again. He's had to grow up a lot for being 5 years old...

These days I spend the rest of my time after teaching working on putting together information, doing research, and editing various proposals that are being submitted by different organizations out here for funding. It is interesting to work with various groups and see what they are doing to enact economic and social change in the region. There are many people here who have some fantastic ideas and have an earnest desire to do good for the people in the Badia but unfortunately their endeavors are stymied by a lack of practical business knowledge (and the inherent corruption that exists in the world of NGOs). The problem that you see at times is that people who truly want to help lack the power or ability to get funding due to their gender, or lack of education, and instead have to appeal to other more connected or powerful people/organizations to get something done. These other organizations and people are not usually based here in the Badia and usually have different priorities. The problem is that apparently it is not uncommon to take a plan with a budget of 3,000JD to one of these larger groups or individuals and have them ramp the budget up to 30,000JD and pillage the difference. I'm sure that doesn't happen all the time and I hate to give anyone a bad impression but it's a dicey world so you have to do things a bit differently. JICA took an interesting approach after seeing two million JD disappear from an account in a matter of weeks, they don't give funds anymore but rather actual material goods that aren't easily liquidated. Regardless I'm learning some pretty valuable lessons about dealing with bureaucracies, grant writing, business plans, overcoming corruption, and encouraging mutual purpose to achieve goals. Combined with the skills in research and dealing with a foreign culture these skills should do me well by the time I'm done here and set me up to do something substantial out here.

I am seeing so much and learning a ton. I have attended some pretty neat weddings, learned to dance and sing like a Bedouin, and have finally discovered the real force of change and progress out here... I will have to catch you all up on some of my experiences here over the next few days.

My walk with a shepherd

I had the opportunity to walk with a shepherd the other day. We walked slowly from field to field followed by exactly 36 sheep. I know it was exactly 36 because I was introduced to each one by name. The shepherd told me all about the temperament of each sheep and what it liked to eat and do. He told me about how old it was and which of the other sheep it did and didn't get along with. The shepherd spoke of his sheep with such love and tenderness that it was easy to see how much he cared for them. The shepherd led the sheep from pasture to pasture calling to them every now with a very specific sounding call... brrr ho ho ho, brrr ho ho ho. The sheep followed loyally and did not need coercion. The shepherd explained that each shepherd's call was unique and when we passed another herd each shepherd was not worried about the sheep getting mixed as each sheep knew the call of its shepherd and would follow. The shepherd did not round up the sheep when it was time to go but rather just began walking and started calling to them. When we stopped at various pastures, occasionally there were things that the sheep should not eat. The shepherd kept watch over the sheep to keep them from eating anything they shouldn't and carried a long, thin, and hollow plastic tube. I imagined this was to hit the sheep with when they misbehaved but I never once saw him hit any of them. If they would not listen he would swing his tube which made a howling noise and strike a rock or tree beside them. This would frighten the sheep and they would obey the shepherd but the shepherd still was still very tender and caring even when the sheep were disobeying him. At one point a small lamb wandered too far from the flock so the shepherd left the flock to go find it. The lamb was behind some buildings in town and was crying out to be found. The shepherd said that when the small lambs get lost they just sit there and cry out for help. The shepherd said that sheep don't like to be alone and it was obvious that when this lamb saw the shepherd it was relieved and stopped crying out. The shepherd was diligent and alert watching for danger and protecting his flock. He loved his sheep and they were his charge. He led them from place to place providing for them the best grazing he knew of and the best places to find water and food. In the desert here it can be difficult at other times of the year to find water or abundant grass but the shepherd knew where to go and could lead the sheep.
Many have used the analogy of the shepherd in the past so I figured I would take a minute to describe what I learned about shepherds the other day on my walk. There are times where we must follow a shepherd, and there are times where we are responsible to shepherd others. I will leave the interpretation to you but the simple lessons I gleaned from my walk with the shepherd I won't soon forget.

Loren of Arabia

Sheik to Shabab... all a good time!

Really this was a pretty good week!
It began hanging out in Dafyanna with Sheik Talal Al-Madi in his home which was a lot of fun. His brother is Bader Al-Madi who was my contact to get out here so hanging out with his family was a good time. There was a wedding celebration going on so I got to go sit in the Bayt Shar (tent) and eat Mansaf which was really tasty. It was my first time to eat mansaf with my hand and I'm told that's kind of a "must do" while here in Jordan. Fortunately I've been here for a bit so I've gotten used to the mechanics of everything as well as using my right hand for things (I'm left handed so it can be tough at times). The food was great, the company was amazing and I really enjoyed myself. I hung out with Sheik Talal and Bader's youngest brother Ahmed and his friends that night which was also a really good time. They played playstation chatted and then when some of the older uncles showed up they began reciting bedouin poetry. The poetry was beautiful and sounded just amazing with it's meter and rhythm, I just wish I could have understood more of it. They asked me if I knew any poetry but all I could think of was a couple inappropriate limericks so I decided to pass. After chatting with some of the older gentlemen there sitting around (who I later found out were pretty important government officials so I'm glad I didn't say anything wrong) they decided that for me to be truly Bedouin I needed to dress like a bedouin, so one of the men got up and brought me back a gift of a Shemagh and Thob (head covering and long dress like shirt). I got dressed and I have to admit it was rather comfortable and I looked good. I understand why so many people wear them and if I could wear it every day and get away with it then I totally would. It was a generous gift and I really appreciated it and it was just another way that I felt accepted into the culture here in the Badia. Also last weekend a bunch of SIT (school for international training) students came into the Badia so I got the great chance to meet them and get a little dose of western culture. A guy from the Midwest named Luke came to stay with Shlash so I hung out over there a lot and helped Shlash show him around the area a bit. We checked out this big black mountain where they mine all this volcanic rock out west of here and took some pretty amazing pictures (check my facebook for them as blogspot sucks for uploading pictures). We checked out this small zoo in a nearby village and I got to play with a wolf and see a hyena pretty up close and personal. We went and saw some camels of course and did a lot of cooking and eating back at the house in Subha. It was a pretty good experience but made me grateful I was living in the Badia over Amman as despite the fact that I haven't been taking formal classes like they are my language is pretty good and I can hear things pretty well. Don't get me wrong the language is still a pretty big struggle for me but it's coming and I'm understanding a lot more now despite my inability to speak well.
This week was pretty mellow and other than teaching at the pre-school (which is a blast I might add) I took a day to go to Al Ilbayt University to talk to some language professors and try to get a book in Amiyya (coloquial) instead of Fusha (formal) Arabic. It seemed like a good campus and everyone was really friendly (especially a few of the girls yelling out Ya Inglizie!!) so it's good to know I still got it despite my hessian beard and long hair. After hanging out on campus for a bit with the guys (shebab) we all went to Mafraq and ate some pretty good food and chatted for a while. I'm pretty tight knit with these guys now in the Al Oun family and they are just a blast to be around. Ahed is the oldest and is pretty loud and boisterous but a good time, Sammi is a cousin who's mother is from Syria and is going to Al Ilbayt while living in Subha, Shlash is just Shlash and not much else can be said. Shlash has helped me a ton out here and I have him to thank for being so well integrated into the culture out here. He's just a straight shooter and isn't afraid to tell me how he really feels or what he really things which I appreciate. Shlash is an English teacher here in Salhiyya and is planning on getting married in a couple weeks so that's been exciting for him to get ready for. The rest of the guys give him a hard time about it so it's nice to know that apprehension and concerns regarding marriage and of course friends ribbing you about things is universal and knows no culture.
Yesterday we all went to Amman (Sammi, Shlash, Ahed and I) and met up with Niel, Shlash's brother who is studying English at the British Counsel there in the City preparing to take the TOEFL. We stopped by the Mormon Cultural Center there and chatted with a couple of nice senior missionaries. I think they were a bit surprised when I showed up this obviously American looking guy with 4 Bedouin in tow. They were nice and we sat in their living room and chatted for a while before going to our other meetings for the day. We stopped by a couple malls which were all pretty new and western but at the same time felt very 1990 in their planning and layout (yes I was raised by a real estate developer). All in all Amman is really nice and western, but also crowded and I can see the allure of living in the Badia. Shlash explained to me as we were driving home that living in Amman comes with a cost, a cost of living with drugs, crime, and all other onslaughts against moral family living. Living in Amman meant you could have nicer things and make a better salary but at what cost to your family and well being? I explained to him that living in any city came with some costs like that which is why many people in the States live in suburbs. The problem here is that suburbs don't develop as much as far fewer people have access to cars due to the fact that they are crazy expensive here! There is a pretty big disconnect between rural and urban without much of a transition suburb which is very interesting to see. I guess I'm glad to be living in the rural areas as it's much closer to the suburban lifestyle I'm used to. It was a great day trip and I had a great time hanging out with the guys and meeting with various folks about increasing support and humanitarian efforts here in the Badia.
Speaking of humanitarian efforts... I have a shameless plug for all of you. If any of you know someone who would be interested in doing some volunteer dental or medical work out here for a bit (2 weeks or 2 months or really any amount of time would be great) we have the facilities out here but not the manpower. Give me a shout if you know of anyone who would be interested in coming and helping out for a bit.

A state of mind and a way of life

I feel like I need to clarify something before telling you all about my recent happenings here in the Badia. I know may of you who read this like to see crazy pictures and hear stories about how different life is here in Jordan, but I don't want to minimize my experiences and the lifestyles of those around me by relegating them to novelty. Even though there are some key differences in lifestyles between the people here and all my friends in America, there are more similarities than differences. Most of the comments that people have left so far have mentioned the lack of western style plumbing, eating without utensils, or various other insignificant differences that I did not mean to highlight. I just hope that people are getting the real point when reading this blog as I wouldn't want to show anything but deep respect and admiration for the style of life here. Please don't see this as some crazy adventure I am on to see how strange the culture is, but rather try to see it with my eyes. After a few weeks the differences fade and only the similarities remain. I am learning so much about not only the culture here but human nature in general. All people have the amazing ability to love as well as hate. I've learned here that to love is to know rather than to know is to love. I suppose the inverse would be true that to hate is to not know or not understand, but I believe that what motivates the understanding or lack of understanding is the ability to love. The language barrier I face keeps me from knowing details about people like Abu Alaa and his family, or keeps me from knowing the struggles that all my friends here face day to day. This lack of knowledge has not kept me from loving them but rather showed me that you don't have to know someone to love them. I have however seen that as soon as you choose to love someone then you really begin to know them. Given my religious beliefs this makes sense as we are taught only two laws... Love thy God with all thy heart, and love thy neighbor as thyself. To know anything then is it necessary to have love? These have been a few of my thoughts recently.

The style of life here is simple yet complex. It emphasizes similar priorities but from a different standpoint. God, family, and country are just as important here as they are in the States, but the importance of duty to that God, family, and country over the importance of individualism is paramount here. I come from a culture that values the individual over the family, and personal drives and desires over cultural expectations. I have seen that there are benefits to both ways of thinking but I can also see how there would be issues where the methodologies would collide. Many of my friends here would like to do other things with their lives in terms of careers etc, but what is most important is the obligation they have to their family. The clash of western individualism and this obligation is evident but then again maybe this clash of individualism against obligation is nothing new. I think similar conflicts exist in the States, but the American culture is much more permissive to exploration and less is expected of children as it pertains to obligation to the family. There are many situations where the choice to stay and help the family seems second nature and no conflict arises. This has been most evident to me as I have spoken with Alaa and Noor, two young men in their early 20's that despite being well educated and working hard in school are dedicated to returning to continue their father's work in helping the Badia develop. I asked why they wanted to do this and they acted as if they had never considered an alternative as that wouldn't make sense. After pressing the subject further I saw that Abu Alaa had done a masterful job teaching his children what was really important as both Alaa and Noor did not want to spend their lives chasing a career, or financial success, but rather wanted to spend their time helping the people here like their father. I think the best lesson Abu Alaa has provided his sons is a life of service and sacrifice to others. I hope that I can provide my sons with that kind of lesson as well someday.
This brings up an interesting point about how to spend your life. I always have been interested about what people find important and where people find their happiness. Having studied some economics in school I like to relegate things to utility and the activities that provide that utility. When I was talking about various ideas and pursuits in life such as school and work etc, I was told a story (I believe it is an old Islamic parable) that made me think, so I will share it with all of you.

A man was walking through the desert when he came across a large hungry lion. Being alone and without the means of defending himself the man began to run but the lion chased him. The man came across an abandoned well as he was running for his life so he decided to climb down the rope to escape the lion. As he was climbing down the rope he saw at the bottom of the abandoned well a large poisonous snake. The man had quite a predicament as he was stuck hanging from a rope with a hungry lion at the top of the well and a poisonous snake at the bottom. After a moment a small white mouse appeared and began to nibble at the rope, followed by a small black mouse. The white mouse and black mouse took turns nibbling on the rope so the man became concerned about his predicament as he knew it was just a matter of time before the rope broke. The rope was quite thick however and it would take a very long time for the mice to chew through the rope so the man thought he would have some time to figure out a solution to his problem. After a while the man became very hungry and was fatigued from his hunger, he was worried that he would not be able to hold on to the rope if he didn't find something to eat soon. At that moment he saw some bees there flying from a hole in the side of the well so the man made his way toward the hole and saw there was some honey there in the hole where the bees had made their nest. The man figured he would be fine for a while to sit and eat honey and think about how to solve his predicament. So there the man sat digging for honey and thinking about his problem while the mice slowly nibbled at the rope. It was a thick rope though and the man figured he has lots of time to worry about his problem so for the time being his hunger was more important. Eventually the man spent more time digging for the honey and less time thinking about his problem until he was completely involved with digging into the hole and eating the delicious honey. The man forgot all about the lion and the mice and the snake but was completely focused on getting more honey to satisfy his hunger. This went on until the rope finally broke and he fell down and was killed by the snake.

We are all in the well and we are all having our ropes slowly nibbled away by the white mouse of the day and the black mouse of the night. We all need to find honey to sustain ourselves, but are we forgetting the real problem at hand? I think we all have things in our lives that distract us from that problem but realizing their real importance is difficult. Paul Brockbank used to say the opposite of the best is the good. It's good to eat honey and sustain ourselves but what is the best use of our time? I suppose that is one of the most important lessons I'm learning here is what is truly important... I would love to get some feedback from all of you about the various types of honey in your lives and what you find truly important.

I send you my love from the Badia.

Loren of Arabia

Redneck is Universal!

So I'll paint you a picture...

So my I'm hanging out with some friends talking about life and women, enjoying the sunshine and the outdoors. We talk about going camping and how much we love fishing. We complain about how city life is too crowded and a man needs space to really breathe and grow. We talk about how annoying it is when someone from the city thinks they are better than you. One friend suggests we go shooting as he's got some old televisions that would be fun to shoot at. We mess around with some horses and then get the idea of going and driving some tractors. We all have a blast moving some gravel with a big Caterpillar front loader. It's getting late so we stop by my to say hi to my friend's parent's and they insist we stay for dinner. We try to refuse but try telling some good country folk that you don't want to eat... not happening! So we eat and then head home as we all have to be up at the crack of dawn to do chores and help out around the family farm. I offer to make some dinner the next night so we all get together and whip up some good ol' country spaghetti and of course everyone douses it with hot sauce like any good redneck would. We talk about the price of feed and how gas prices are killing agriculture. One of my friends talks about being in the Army and how that is probably the best way to get educated when you're from the country. We hang out and listen to some Skynard and talk about how our parents are ragging us to get married. We all think family is important but we want to have some time to ourselves first (at least that's what we say till we find some girl who we can't pass up I'm sure). We talk about how love of God, family, and country and are comfortable with our simple lifestyle without the flash of big city living. We watch a few movies and listen to some Willie Nelson and call it a night.

Sounds like another great weekend in Texas right?

The real catch is it's in Jordan way out in the Badia.

I'm convinced that the Bedouin here would get along famously with American Rednecks if they were able to get to know one another. I laugh as everyone talks to me and says that I'm not like the other American volunteers they see. They say I'm actually friendly, down to earth, and approachable unlike the peace corps volunteers they meet. I say they need to meet more Texans as that's just southern hospitality. Granted there are a couple hangups that Rednecks might have out here and being accepting of differences isn't a real Redneck strength, but I really think that being a good 'ol boy is universal and we're all more similar than different.
I have spent some time explaining the meaning of the term Redneck and how it's used as an insult in the cities but a source of pride in the country and they say that's exactly how the term Bedouin is used here. In the cities it means simple minded and uneducated, but to them it means strong families and a love of God and country.

Too bad Rednecks don't like Bedouin and Bedouin don't like Rednecks... or maybe it's good because as long as they hate each other then they can't take over the world.

Maybe I'm way off on this one but hey... I thought it was pretty funny!

Another great week!

So I have had a great week here in the Badia.

It started off incredibly cold and windy so pre-school was canceled and as such I didn't have any classes to teach but as it warmed up the next few days I had the chance to hang out and teach the 5 year old kids English. The kids are all adorable and I love playing around teaching them different words and playing games. This week we learned about colors, big and small things, and body parts. I taught them the head shoulders knees and toes song and the other teachers thought I was crazy for singing along with the kids but they all had a blast. On Thursdays and Saturdays I work with the high school kids on their English and they are fun to hang out with as well. Really the big need here is help with the English language as that is the real key to education. Unfortunately my Arabic is probably suffering as everyone wants to speak English with me and get practice with a native speaker but if it means I get to help people here then that's ok. I have met an English teacher here named Shlash and have asked him to work with me a few times a week on my Arabic so I think that will help out and get me proficient faster.

A little about Shlash, he is quite the character as he is very straightforward and is quick to speak his mind. I like this as it gives me a unique perspective and a good understanding of how things really are here. We have talked a lot and I think we have learned a lot from each other. Even better than just talking he took me to his family's farm the other day and showed me how to drive a massive Caterpillar front loader, ride a camel, herd and count sheep, and all sorts of other fun stuff. He showed me the bayt shaher or the tent next to his father's house that's used in Bedouin ceremonies like weddings etc. Shlash is getting married in 20 days so he is letting me come to the wedding and I'm really excited about seeing all of that.

I'm starting to make actual friends here and get comfortable in my environment. When you're brand new in places everyone is nice just because you're new but after a while you sift through and find some really neat people that you'd probably be friends with regardless of that fact that you're a visitor in their country. I've enjoyed getting to know Abu Alaa, his sons Alaa and Noor, the English teacher Shlash, Riyad over at the Ministry of Education. These people are beginning to be really good friends and have taught me so much about life and so if for no other reason I'm glad I was able to come out here to meet some pretty fantastic people like that.

I'm still talking to people about different opportunities for economic development and helping people put together proposals for various grants and development initiatives. Being a fluent English speaker is apparently quite advantageous here and has provided me with some unique opportunities. I have been approached by an individual who imports energy efficient light bulbs and I've been impressed to see the margins in light bulbs and other green technology like hybrid cars (the government does not tax these types of imports). Maybe there is a future for me in importing... we shall see. Opportunities seem to be coming out of the woodwork here so I'm interested in seeing what pans out here over the next few months but in the meantime my main focus is seeing what I can do to help the society I'm working with. The North Badia Development Cooperation Society is doing a lot of good out here educating the people, providing them the means to work and support themselves, and helping them build homes. I'm hoping to get some more support in the form of fluent English speaking volunteers to come out here and spend some time helping out so if anyone who is reading this wants to come out or knows of anyone who wants to come spend some time and have one of the most amazing experiences ever please do let me know.

The weather is warm, I've finally mastered the no toilet thing, I'm losing a ton of weight due to the lack of fast food here, I'm having fun with the kids, I'm making good friends, and I'm learning a TON about all sorts of things. Life is good in the Badia.

So much to say...

Sorry for the lack of posting, it has taken me this long to get internet access here in the Badia.

So I must say there could be no way to prepare for my experience thus far. I'm living in a small village called Salhiyya about 40km from Mafraq on the road towards Baghdad. I live in a small complex of about 24 apartments that are offered to the Bedouin people to give them a place to stay to save money to build a house so they can move out of their tents. It's kind of funny though even when people build a big extravagant house as a status symbol they still have their tent set up next to it and spend most of their time there. The organization I'm working with (primarily, as I'm working with many different organizations on many different projects) is involved with financing the Bedouin people in buying land as right now the Jordanian government is willing to pay for the building of a house if you have the land to build it on. The problem is that most people don't have any land that they own so Abu Ala, the head of this complex and apparently a very respected man in the area, is offering to sell portions of his own land on credit to the people so they can take advantage of this program while it is available. This project along with helping come up with funding for other types of Badia development projects such as building shops to employ the poor Bedouin and schools to educate their children are my primary focus here. I'll be teaching a pre-school in the mornings and high schoolers two nights a week starting tomorrow so that should be fun as well. Native English speakers are such a rarity here so I'm told the most valuable thing I can do to help out here is teach English. Apparently all the University level courses taught here in Jordan (and anywhere in the Middle East) are taught in English so everyone studies it from the first grade on, but there are so few native speakers out here even the most qualified teachers still struggle to convey fluency. So we will see where my efforts are best served.

The culture here is amazing, everyone is incredibly nice and welcoming. Although my Arabic is mostly useless thus far (as it is MSA and they speak a different dialect here) many people study and want to speak English so it hasn't been TOO big a problem. I have spent the last week hanging out at the Ministry of Education for the Northern Badia making friends with many of the administrators and talking to the locals. I can't cross the street without getting a dinner invitation or an offer for a ride. In Jordan (and I'm told many other Middle Eastern countries) everyone has a large sitting room where the men come and hang out and drink tea or coffee (there is a whole ceremony surrounding the serving of Arabic coffee which I will explain later) and smoke. People invite you in and demand that you drink something and hang out and usually after an hour or two food is served Bedouin style. Everyone sits around a large communal plate of rice and maybe if you're really really lucky some meat, and some yogurt on the side to mix with the rice. Sometimes you eat with a spoon and sometimes with your hand but all conversation stops and everyone eats for a bit then goes and sits back down against the wall to relax for a bit before more coffee and tea is served. The oldest son usually does all the serving and it's very formal yet friendly. Depending on the home you might watch some TV or just hang out and talk. Most of the people love American movies, though the movies that are popular out here are quite different than the ones popular in the States. The ones that everyone watches out here are not necessarily less violent or sexual in nature but just different. For instance everyone knows Owen Wilson from the movie I Spy rather than anything else he's done. So eventually it gets late and I try to leave but it takes three or four tries to convince my host that I really must go which I'm told is pretty standard practice in the Arabic world. Rarely will I meet the women in the family but on occasion I will be considered family and I will meet the wives or daughters of the people I see. Abu Ala has adopted me into his family and I got to meet his wife and daughters on one occasion and it was a real sign of love and respect. A woman I did have a conversation with did her best to dispel the idea that she is of a lower class than men but instead was revered and respected and protected from the unrefined behavior of men. It's just all very different here I guess and the separation is a part of that. One thing you can never escape is the conversations about politics. Everyone wants to talk about American involvement in Iraq, or the horrors of the Israeli actions against Palestinians and it's very interesting to get that perspective. I usually just nod my head and let people vent and try to learn what I can about the situation. I'm not well versed enough to get into a deep political discussion nor would I want to here. Everyone is very nice about it though and reminds me that they love the American people even if they don't like the actions or behaviors of the American government. I'm not going to get too political with this blog but only report what I see and hear but I will say that what we see and hear in the American news is probably more biased toward Israel than anything else.

I have made good friends with a man named Riyad who works at the Ministry of Education, he and Tariq and Abdullah all help me with my Arabic during the day and teach me a lot about the culture. The people here are incredibly poor here in the Badia and even the most well off people live on less than 400-600 dollars a month. The children play soccer in a dirt patch that they have cleared of big rocks and people have nothing here. It's interesting to sit in a tent around a fire to stay warm but see cable television with 2000 channels. There is no such thing as central heating and everyone survives on propane or kerosene space heaters. It's pretty chilly here and you always have your jacket on inside or out. There is no such thing as a toilet and I'm still figuring out what everyone does for toilet paper as I have yet to find any (fortunately I brought some from Mafraq the local city). I live with an environmental science teacher from Japan named Sei and he is hilarious. He speaks ok English and some Arabic so he helps me get around and know where everything is. He's been here for 6 months and will be here for another year and a half. He is fun to talk to and get to know so I'm glad I have my Japanese tree hugger friend here to keep me company.

I am overwhelmed by the love and welcoming spirit I've been shown here by everyone I encounter. I have to admit that I'm kind of ashamed sometimes as I know that these people would not be shown the same kindness and love if they were to show up in America. I was warned to be careful and told to be safe before coming here but I will admit that I feel safer here just miles from Syria and hours from Iraq than I would feel in many places in the US. There is a huge misunderstanding between American culture and Arab culture and I am beginning to think it's not them that have the faulty information. These people don't hate Americans or America. These people aren't out to kill infidels. These people have more Christlike love than I have seen in most places I have lived and I wish I could tell them that we as Americans would be as open and accepting to them as they have been to me... but I fear it would be a lie. I will say that I'm truly impressed by the culture here. It is a culture of love and hope, one of kindness and sharing despite incredible poverty. I still have much to learn but everything I have experienced so far has been amazing (except the no toilet thing of course).

Sabah Ilheer!

My first morning in Amman.

I don't need an alarm clock as I awoke bright and early to the call to prayer being broadcast through the city. I'm here on my laptop using the internet at the Farah Hotel. It's a nice place with hot water and a huge bed and a pretty good view of the neighborhood. I will include some pictures when I have a better internet connection. It's really pretty here, a bit chilly so I'm glad the place had hot water as I've heard that can be quite the luxury.

My flight seemed much longer than it probably was given the fact that I was traveling east and experienced such a time change but no complaints. I flew through Chicago where I got my first taste of Arab hospitality and culture. I helped a sweet old woman named Nadia with her bag and to show her thanks and gratitude she insisted I take some snacks and eat with her. She ended up being from Beirut and rattled on and on about her family there in the States and how wonderful it was that she could visit them. She showed me pictures of her son the professor and her grandson the policeman and all her other grandchildren who did other things but apparently my Arabic is not good enough to know words other than professor and policeman... I guess I still have a long way to go. She and her husband were two of the nicest people I had met and it was a pleasure getting to know them on my layover in Chicago. When we went through the gate check I was a little disturbed when they were pulled aside by the gate agent and searched on the spot in a "less than gentle" fashion. I know TSA is only doing it's job and I don't fault them for keeping us safe, but an 80 year old woman? Seriously? I'm kind of conflicted about how to feel about that one as I can see both sides but in the moment I have to admit I was a little embarrassed of my culture. Nadia took things in stride and smiled despite the fact that she thought it ridiculous as well.
On the flight over to London, I sat next to a man named Abdul who was originally from Damascus Syria and now was a small business owner in Ft. Worth. He was traveling to see his extended family and his daughter who he sent to go to school in Syria for the last few years of high school so she would stay safe from the American boys and learn about her heritage. I mentioned the incident with Nadia and he just nodded saying that was pretty common. He said he was fine getting searched himself because he looks Arab as he understands that "there are people out there who do bad things" but that common sense must be used rather than an automatic bias toward anyone in a head wrap.
I learned a lot about Arabs moving to the states from Abdul, he finally explained why they all own convenience stores (he owns a large number of them around the DFW area). It turns out that when you move to the states you can work for friends of your family in their convenience stores and learn the business, and over time you can become a partner with the original owner and eventually even take over your first store in an owner financed sort of arrangement. He said that getting a loan as a foreigner was very difficult and as such many immigrants relied on the private loans that are given from within the Arab community. Given that and the fact that the convenience store industry is largely relationship based according to Abdul it makes sense that it would remain fairly homogeneous. Thus we have our stereotypical convenience store owner...

When I got to Amman I was greeted by Bader Al Madi and his cousin. Bader had received his doctorate in sociology from BYU so he has been my main contact in getting set up over here. They were fantastic hosts taking me around town a bit, and helping me settle in to the Farah here. Before retiring for the evening they took me over to a fantastic place to eat where we had by far some of the best food I've had in a long time. I didn't know falafel, and hummus tasted that good till I ate it here. We then went and got some dessert which I forget the name of but it was this combination of cheesy syrupy caramelized goodness that I can't even begin to describe. Total cost for the evening for all three of us was around 10JD which is about 14 bucks for all three of us to eat. I'm supposed to go walk around town with Bader's cousin for a bit before going out to my site later this afternoon so I'm looking forward to helping him with his English so he can help me with my Arabic, seems like a fair trade.

There is Arabic pop music everywhere, the sights and smells are fantastic. It's great to be here.