A state of mind and a way of life

I feel like I need to clarify something before telling you all about my recent happenings here in the Badia. I know may of you who read this like to see crazy pictures and hear stories about how different life is here in Jordan, but I don't want to minimize my experiences and the lifestyles of those around me by relegating them to novelty. Even though there are some key differences in lifestyles between the people here and all my friends in America, there are more similarities than differences. Most of the comments that people have left so far have mentioned the lack of western style plumbing, eating without utensils, or various other insignificant differences that I did not mean to highlight. I just hope that people are getting the real point when reading this blog as I wouldn't want to show anything but deep respect and admiration for the style of life here. Please don't see this as some crazy adventure I am on to see how strange the culture is, but rather try to see it with my eyes. After a few weeks the differences fade and only the similarities remain. I am learning so much about not only the culture here but human nature in general. All people have the amazing ability to love as well as hate. I've learned here that to love is to know rather than to know is to love. I suppose the inverse would be true that to hate is to not know or not understand, but I believe that what motivates the understanding or lack of understanding is the ability to love. The language barrier I face keeps me from knowing details about people like Abu Alaa and his family, or keeps me from knowing the struggles that all my friends here face day to day. This lack of knowledge has not kept me from loving them but rather showed me that you don't have to know someone to love them. I have however seen that as soon as you choose to love someone then you really begin to know them. Given my religious beliefs this makes sense as we are taught only two laws... Love thy God with all thy heart, and love thy neighbor as thyself. To know anything then is it necessary to have love? These have been a few of my thoughts recently.

The style of life here is simple yet complex. It emphasizes similar priorities but from a different standpoint. God, family, and country are just as important here as they are in the States, but the importance of duty to that God, family, and country over the importance of individualism is paramount here. I come from a culture that values the individual over the family, and personal drives and desires over cultural expectations. I have seen that there are benefits to both ways of thinking but I can also see how there would be issues where the methodologies would collide. Many of my friends here would like to do other things with their lives in terms of careers etc, but what is most important is the obligation they have to their family. The clash of western individualism and this obligation is evident but then again maybe this clash of individualism against obligation is nothing new. I think similar conflicts exist in the States, but the American culture is much more permissive to exploration and less is expected of children as it pertains to obligation to the family. There are many situations where the choice to stay and help the family seems second nature and no conflict arises. This has been most evident to me as I have spoken with Alaa and Noor, two young men in their early 20's that despite being well educated and working hard in school are dedicated to returning to continue their father's work in helping the Badia develop. I asked why they wanted to do this and they acted as if they had never considered an alternative as that wouldn't make sense. After pressing the subject further I saw that Abu Alaa had done a masterful job teaching his children what was really important as both Alaa and Noor did not want to spend their lives chasing a career, or financial success, but rather wanted to spend their time helping the people here like their father. I think the best lesson Abu Alaa has provided his sons is a life of service and sacrifice to others. I hope that I can provide my sons with that kind of lesson as well someday.
This brings up an interesting point about how to spend your life. I always have been interested about what people find important and where people find their happiness. Having studied some economics in school I like to relegate things to utility and the activities that provide that utility. When I was talking about various ideas and pursuits in life such as school and work etc, I was told a story (I believe it is an old Islamic parable) that made me think, so I will share it with all of you.

A man was walking through the desert when he came across a large hungry lion. Being alone and without the means of defending himself the man began to run but the lion chased him. The man came across an abandoned well as he was running for his life so he decided to climb down the rope to escape the lion. As he was climbing down the rope he saw at the bottom of the abandoned well a large poisonous snake. The man had quite a predicament as he was stuck hanging from a rope with a hungry lion at the top of the well and a poisonous snake at the bottom. After a moment a small white mouse appeared and began to nibble at the rope, followed by a small black mouse. The white mouse and black mouse took turns nibbling on the rope so the man became concerned about his predicament as he knew it was just a matter of time before the rope broke. The rope was quite thick however and it would take a very long time for the mice to chew through the rope so the man thought he would have some time to figure out a solution to his problem. After a while the man became very hungry and was fatigued from his hunger, he was worried that he would not be able to hold on to the rope if he didn't find something to eat soon. At that moment he saw some bees there flying from a hole in the side of the well so the man made his way toward the hole and saw there was some honey there in the hole where the bees had made their nest. The man figured he would be fine for a while to sit and eat honey and think about how to solve his predicament. So there the man sat digging for honey and thinking about his problem while the mice slowly nibbled at the rope. It was a thick rope though and the man figured he has lots of time to worry about his problem so for the time being his hunger was more important. Eventually the man spent more time digging for the honey and less time thinking about his problem until he was completely involved with digging into the hole and eating the delicious honey. The man forgot all about the lion and the mice and the snake but was completely focused on getting more honey to satisfy his hunger. This went on until the rope finally broke and he fell down and was killed by the snake.

We are all in the well and we are all having our ropes slowly nibbled away by the white mouse of the day and the black mouse of the night. We all need to find honey to sustain ourselves, but are we forgetting the real problem at hand? I think we all have things in our lives that distract us from that problem but realizing their real importance is difficult. Paul Brockbank used to say the opposite of the best is the good. It's good to eat honey and sustain ourselves but what is the best use of our time? I suppose that is one of the most important lessons I'm learning here is what is truly important... I would love to get some feedback from all of you about the various types of honey in your lives and what you find truly important.

I send you my love from the Badia.

Loren of Arabia